


Sanguine

by moshimochi



Series: Ardent Hearts [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, Super Dangan Ronpa 2.5
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Identity Issues, Love Confessions, M/M, Panic Attacks, no smut in this one srry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 12:44:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14165109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moshimochi/pseuds/moshimochi
Summary: “Can you answer something for me.. In complete honesty?”“Of course.” It’s redundant for him to even ask in such a way, he’s always honest with Hinata.“Which version of me is the one that you - uh, care about the most..?”(second part to Saccharine, but can be read as a stand-alone as well)





	Sanguine

  
When Komaeda wakes up, he’s now curled up with his back against Hinata’s chest, his slightly tanned arms encircling him and holding him tight. Stretching out like a cat, he artfully untangles himself from Hinata’s limbs just slightly to be able to roll over. He nuzzles under Hinata’s chin, grappling to get as much contact with his warmth as possible. It’s times like these where he permits himself to be selfish, when the air is still and it feels like the entire universe is quiet and confined within their island cabin, and it’s _nice._   
  
Hinata doesn’t rustle, but makes a low noise of satisfaction. Heat flutters around his cheeks and shoulders when Hinata lazily buries his face into his white curls, slumping into each other further. It’s oppressively endearing how cute Hinata is when he’s like this, a deep sleeper just like a lazy teenage boy… He really has no right, Komaeda thinks, to be looking so innocent like that..  
  
But still, when he pulls back a bit and glances up at Hinata’s face, despite the scars and years of apocalyptic terror they’ve endured, _instigated_ , he still manages to look soft and boyish while sleeps.   
  
They lay like that for minutes longer, with Komaeda basking in the tranquility of the moment and trying not to mind Hinata’s dutiful snoring, till one crimson eye cracks blearily open.  
  
“Hey.” Hinata presses a kiss between his pale eyes, and Komaeda thinks after today he probably won’t be able to view his mouth the same again.  
  
“It seems like you had a nice nap. If you didn’t wake up sooner, I would have worried that you died in your sleep!” He giggles, “Ahaha, but I suppose corpses don’t snore like that though.” The second the sentence leaves his lips, he gets the dawning feeling that perhaps he said something weird, or creepy, but Hinata doesn’t pay him any mind. He’s not sure if that’s a comforting or worrying thing that Hinata’s no longer phased by his uncomfortable babbling.  
  
Hinata simply grunts in reply. After a wide-mouthed yawn and a long stretch, he returns to settle his arm back around Komaeda’s waist. “Sorry, hope I wasn’t too loud.” He says, brushing a pearly curl off of his forehead with his other hand. “I needed this though.”  
  
“Oh, I didn’t mind at all!” He protests, shaking his head against the pillow. “How could I mind? I truly am spoiled for waking up next to you so often like this…” It’s been months since they first started sleeping together, in all senses of the word. Neither of those experiences fail to make him still thank his luck every morning. “Being so close to you - Haha, I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it…”  
  
Hinata hums. “I know what you mean. We’ve been like _this_ for awhile now - Still, sometimes it doesn’t feel real.”   
  
Before Komaeda can respond, Hinata sits up suddenly, raising his arms over his head in a prolonged stretch, head turned away towards the window. But when Hinata relaxes and settles back down next to him, he notes an odd expression washed over his face, eyebrows drawn in tight, like when he’s trying to pull apart a puzzle.   
  
“What’s the matter?” His mind begins racing, highlighting details of all the ways he could have messed up, could have upset Hinata, done something wrong-  
  
But Hinata pets an appreciative hand through his white curls and gently smiles. “It’s nothing. I’ve just been… Thinking about something for awhile now.”  
  
“ _Ah._ That’s a dangerous thing to do.” He pokes, delighting inside at the little laugh Hinata gives him.  
  
But when Komaeda breaks out from Hinata’s grip and looks at him directly, he immediately notices that something is amiss from the way how Hinata worries his bottom lip under his teeth. “Can you answer something for me.. In complete honesty?”  
  
“Of course.” It’s redundant for him to even ask in such a way, he’s always honest with Hinata.

“Which version of me is the one that you - uh, _care about_ the most..?”  
  
“Oh.” That was.. Unexpected. Pursing his lips, his mind trails off into distant memories. “Well, Kamukura-kun is… Our world’s hope.” His first meeting with him was like a blessing from a higher power. He remembers swiveling the nozzle of the gun, sensing a presence behind him, locking eyes with burning crimson, draping black silk, a look of mild disdain. How he moved so quickly, grasping his waist, pulling the gun from his hands, the monotone tenor in his ear. The bullet, impacting, falling backwards, like he was being cast from heaven by God’s own grace. Radiance.

He could’ve easily died happy, in that basement.

His heart might be fluttering, reminiscing like this. “The light radiating from Kamukura-kun’s talent is beyond anything someone like myself could ever dream of. His existence is insurmountable to any other being on this earth. When I first saw him… It was as if all of the tragedy in the world had never been in vain, if it was all to lead up to that moment. I felt blessed to have been in his presence. Nothing, not anyone could compare to the hope that embodies him.”  
  
When he turns to look at Hinata, there’s something different in his appearance. His eyes look sunken, almost defeated, and the thought of upsetting Hinata-kun leaves a sickening dread in the pit of his stomach.   
  
Hinata cracks a weak smile. “I see-”   
  
“Wait a moment, _please_ .” He’s awful at speaking his feelings, saying anything without sounding like a total imbecile, or a freak, he knows it, but this is one moment he can’t afford to fuck up. “But Hinata-kun… Is _different_ . When I saw him, on the beach, he certainly was _intriguing_...” This memory comes slightly clearer than the last - seeing a boy go down under the blazing island sun.

  
_“Looks like another one bites the dust!” Ibuki, he notes, wild colors and piercings glinting under the bright light, laughing gleefully._   
_“Great.” Koizumi, mature redhead, with her hands on her hips, shifting to the side and looking at the boy with disdain. “Someone should go take care of him.” He thinks he hears the little blonde girl, Saionji, make a snide comment involving the words “pathetic wimp”._   
_Some of them pooling around, until they all eventually disperse. He insisted to Tsumiki that people so talented should be handling exploring the area, he can stay back with the boy. She frets until he reminds her that the others are more likely to get into trouble exploring a wild island, aren’t they? She runs away and leaves him with the boy in the sand._   
_His features are strong, serious. Set jawline, eyebrows scrunched - even in unconscious. He’ll get a wrinkle there soon if he doesn’t lighten up. He notices with a flutter in his stomach that the boy in the sand is undeniably attractive. The boy - Hinata, he recalls now, simple name, is nothing like a model, simple face, but maybe like a friendly boy-next-door sort of type -_   
_“Oh.” Hinata’s dark eyelashes flutter, and suddenly he’s met with olive green eyes, blearily blinking up at him._ _  
_ “Hey, can you hear me?”

 

Thinking about their first meeting causes a swirl of bittersweet emotions in his stomach. The happiness they had in their moments on the island would quickly sour, thanks to his own intervention.  
  
Komaeda smiles softly, meeting Hinata’s inquisitive gaze. “But Hinata-kun was unlike any of the others. I knew that, even in the beginning. Talking to him and trying to help him remember his talent made me feel so happy, knowing that I could help him made me feel like I was fulfilling my purpose.” _Ultimate tsun-tsun, playful laughter, Hinata’s trying to look agitated but a smile is breaking across his face anyways._

“At times I even felt imprudent enough to think that maybe we were alike. And then, after the first trial…”  It’s not unexpected that he ruined all of that carefree happiness, twisted it like a knife between Hinata’s shoulder blades. Komaeda looks up, meeting Hinata’s sympathetic gaze, and he’s reminded that luck gave him another chance, to cherish it or soil it, but he has another chance to rebuild things. Hinata really _is_ too kind towards something so despicable as him.  
  
“The fact Hinata-kun was willing to still even look at me, or speak to me, despite how repulsed he might of felt towards my existence after I revealed to him all of the disgusting, revolting layers of myself that he couldn’t see at first… But I enjoyed helping him, until I-” _Opening a book. The elation of being helpful, for being able to tell Hinata the news he’d been desperate to hear, knowing that of all people he was the one to deliver this information to Hinata, how pleased Hinata would be with him-  
_  
“Even after I _knew_ , I couldn’t forget how even if he was talentless, he still -” Hinata slips through the cracks, chipping away at his wall of defenses until he breaks and crumbles.  
  
“In the warehouse, I tried to keep thinking how he was only… _Collateral_ damage, a bystander swept up in something greater than some worthless nobody deserved. Just like myself.” Komaeda lets out a little mirthless laugh. _The pitch blackness of the warehouse. The slashes on his thighs are throbbing, he can feel the blood oozing down his leg, saturating in his jeans. His other hand burning hot white, every involuntary twitch makes him wince as the pain radiates down his arm. He tries to focus on the blaring music, tries to focus on the goal, and how wonderful it will be once he achieves it. The door creaks open, and feels a lurch go through his body as his plan swings into action, feeling the radiating warmth of the flames flicking near by._

_It’s when he hears Hinata’s startled voice that he feels the grips of panic crawling up his limbs and seizing at his throat. When they leave, he starts shaking and every quiver sends agony around the wounds, which makes him shake more against the restraints. The duct tape was a good call. He wants to pin it on the body’s natural adrenaline response, tries to flush the sensation back with thinking about his goal, he will be praised for his sacrifice, he finally did something worthwhile with his horribly worthless life, he will eliminate despair - eliminate Hinata -_ **_Hinata, Hinata, Hinata, Hinata_ **   
  
Komaeda snaps out of the memory when he feels Hinata’s warm palm brushing against his face, wiping under his eyelids. He can’t even recall when his eyes started watering, but he’s never had a good handle on his emotions anyways. Linking his fingers with the hand against his face, he continues “But it… It _hurt_ because… Hinata-kun was unlike the others, not because he was talentless, but because he actually wanted to _understand_ me. I only faltered when I thought that, maybe, in some other life… We could’ve been friends.”   
  
Abruptly, Hinata drops the hand laying against his wet cheek and sits upwards. “Komaeda… _Nagi-_ ” 

Komaeda rolls over on his back and raises his left arm, soft whirring sounds fill the room as the robotic fingers reach up and splay into the dimming sunlight, metal gleaming and his eyes admiring it, glowing with warmth. He’s had it for months, but every time he glances at his hand, his breath hitches in his throat. It never starts to feel real. “Because of the two of them, they took away what was rotten inside of me and made something beautiful.” Pulling his hand back, he tucks against his chest, curling over his heart. He brings his other hand to wrap around it, treasuring it. “Because of their combined hopes, I am alive again.” Turning his head to look at him, he looks at Hinata and smiles at him, hoping he can read the adoration from his expression. “I love their hope with all of my heart.”  
  
But Hinata looks frighteningly serious.

“I love you.”

  
  


His stomach drops.   
“... What?” His voice barely cracks above a whisper.   
  
Hinata flinches a bit, and he watches as Hinata takes a deep inhale, watching his chest rise, before he gathers himself once more. “Do you… Want me to tell you again?” He’s met with silence. “Komaeda.”   
  
Everything feels surreal.   
  
“ _Nagito_ ...”   
  
“I…” He opens his mouth and for the first time in his life, he can’t say anything. No inane rambling, no weepy muttering or degenerate rasping. Only unstable silence.   
  
Why does it feel like Hinata reached inside, took his heart and seized it, squeezing until it stops?   
  
_He should be happy, shouldn’t he?_   
_This is his dream, isn’t it?_   
_So why? Why is this happening?_   
  
It’s like TV static was filling the room, bursting from his fingertips and rising up against his chest, chaotic buzzing flowing higher and higher until he’s gone under and it suffocates him.   
  
He doesn’t even notice that he’s no longer looking at Hinata and his eyes are corkscrewed shut, hands ripping through his hair, until a gentle hand pulls him out of the water and muck, back into reality.   
  
“ _Nagito._ ” He can tell his voice is soft, murmuring, yet it still cuts through the abyss like a bullet. “Come back to me.”   
  
He feels Hinata’s hands holding his face, one thumb swiping underneath his eyes. He hadn’t even realized that there were tears dripping down his cheeks.   
  
“I’m sorry,” he cries, voice shaking, thoughts racing. There are so many words he desperately wants to say, thank him with reverence, kiss him, but instead he lets himself be limply pulled into a hug.   
  
He wants to do so much more than cling onto him, useless and terrified, but Hinata doesn’t push him further. Komaeda waits for tragedy to strike, but it never does. No meteorite comes striking through the raised ceiling, no accident fire ravages the room around them, no freak tsunami threats to wash Hinata away from him.   
  
They wait for the storm to pass together, Hinata petting heavy strokes down his spine, inhaling and exhaling slowly, evenly, until they’re breathing in unison. When he opens his eyes, he only sees the setting sunlight painting the room in a sanguine color, and if he focuses he thinks he can hear the ringing in his ears fade away to the sound of waves breaking at the nearby shore.   
  
When he meets Hinata’s worried eyes, he feels the heaviness melt from inside his chest.   
  
“ _Hajime.._ ” He sighs, exhausted, slumping back into his arms.   
  
“I’m here, Nagito. I’m not going anywhere.”   
  
It’s so much, he’s still too much ,   
  
“Yes.” Komaeda rises, letting both of his hands encircle his lover’s face, pressing their lips together for trembling kiss. He speaks again with his lips still catching on Hinata’s. “You aren’t going anywhere.”   
  
For now, that will be all he needs.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> this series definitely put me out of my comfort zone by writing smut and heavy emotional stuff, but i'm glad i managed to do it! (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑ hope you all enjoyed & thank you for reading! (o^∀^o)
> 
> hikoma has my dick in an eternal chokehold so if you'd like to cry about them with me, you can find me as mxshimxchi on tumblr or m0shim0chi on twitter! <33


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